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tv   9 News Now at 11pm  CBS  August 28, 2010 1:35am-2:05am EDT

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[applause] craig: welcome back, everybody. i'm just looking at my sneakers in the thing. and i'm thinking, you know, i look like ben stein. a cross between ben stein and ellen. ellenstein. [laughter] doesn't sound that bad, actually. my first guest here tonight is here to celebrate -- that means plug -- the release of the d.v.d. "not the messiah: he's a very naughty boy." it's in stores june 8. take a look at this. >> ♪ always look on the bright side of life see?
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always look on the light side of life if life seems jolly rotten there's something you've forgotten if you're feeling in the dumps just part your lips and whistle and always look on the bright side of life ♪ craig: do you know, that cheered me right up already! please welcome the lovely legend that is eric idle, everybody! [applause] hello, eric. >> how are you? craig: you know that cheered me right up. >> it is supposed to cheer you up. craig: was this in london? >> it was an oratorio with did
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with 240 musicians. craig: it looks fantastic. >> it is huge. very, very big. i was waiting for some of the other pythons to come along. michael palin came along. craig: sarah palin's -- >> he claimed to be the brother of a little known governor of alaska. terry jones, gilliam. craig: what does oratorio mean? >> it is a song work, it is like a play. but known a concert hall. so "the messiah" is a song work by handel and this is not the "messiah." [laughter] craig: right. >> but it is also sung. a lot of singing. craig: like cats without the costumes. >> no. craig: you probably don't want cats. >> in albert hall. craig: they had cats there once. >> the show or real ones?
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craig: i think a real one got in there once. >> are you going somewhere? craig: no, no, i was just remembering. a cat once turned up at the albert hall. >> it was scottish night and they were not wearing anything beneath the kilt. a disaster. craig: that's when you want to see a nice, comfortable cat. >> i'm happy to see uh-oh anywhere. i got nothing. by the way, these are sneakers. craig: wow! look at that. >> we can have a sneaker-in. and vote for people on tweeter. you have huge feet. craig: you ought to see my penis. [laughter] or maybe you don't. >> actually i don't. craig: well, take my word for it. that's all. >> i will. craig: have you ever performed this in america? >> yeah, we did it at the hollywood bowl a couple of years ago. craig: a lot of people when they go to the hollywood bowl when i go there they smoke the
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marijuana cigarettes. i've noticed that. >> really? that's just the audience. well, it is picnic. it is a lovely place to sit. you a picnic and wine. i often have too much to drink there. craig: really? >> quite a few times. yes. that's just when i'm on stage. craig: it is very nice there. they have fireworks there. >> we did it with fireworks. two nights running. like 19,000 people. we did genres, some fireworks music especially for it. so we did the galaxy song to fireworks. craig: why didn't i get invite? >> you were probably on hiatus, that's what you call it, don't you? craig: there is no hiatus. >> or is it probation? craig: might be probation. there is no seasonal thing in late night. >> you were off last week. craig: no, they were encore performances. they were what we call on tv
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oratoria and what we do is shows that have been proven popular before so we show them again. >> you do the same words? craig: i come out and do the same show again wearing the same outfit with the same guests. if you go and see a play again. it is the same play. i always think a waste of money going to see a play twice. hey, i haven't seen you since stephen fry's party. you were there with your lovely wife. >> you were there with your lovely wife. craig: that's true. then we swapped. [laughter] >> i didn't mind that. it is just that you dave with us your kid. -- gave us your kid. craig: how is he doing? >> fine. we're teaching him scottish. craig: i scared myself there. you know, i blame my sneakers. do you think certain clothes make you behave irresponsibly? that's a very loud shirt. >> it is? it's paul smith shirt. it is rather cool. craig: that's what i meant. >> i got it in london. i was just in london.
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craig: really? how was that? they have a rabbit in london apparently which swears very much. >> on tv? craig: yeah, he is a cussing rabbit from north london called sid. >> we have a killer rabbit obviously. craig: yes, a killer rabbit. you have to ask the three questions. that was in "holy grail." >> and spamalot. craig: is spamalot on tour? it is coming on tour in the states. craig: is it coming here? >> yes. craig: will i get a ticket? >> you'll get one ticket. craig: if i go and buy it using money? >> yes, send you a ticket. craig: i saw it in new york. it was rather good. you probably made a lot of money. >> we made a buck or two. it was nice. yeah. craig: you can buy yourself a fancy shirt. >> i can buy more expensive friends now. craig: that's what it is all about in l.a. you know, stephen fry has gone back to england. he is not here anymore. >> he was writing his autobiography.
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craig: another one? >> he had to go back and do a bit more living. craig: i see. >> and then he'll write about it. craig: very clever. live a bit, write a bit. nice. i'm going to do that. you can't really call this living. i'm going to have to go and do something else. would you ever have a talk show? >> no. craig: why not? >> because you have to be on every day. craig: no, you can put on oratorias. >> once a year. we had a royal pipe band come on in the oratoria. craig: what is a royal pipe band? >> jocks and -- craig: jocks in america means athletes, though. it is a slightly derogatory term for scottish people in england, isn't it? >> no, it is rhyming slang. sweaty socks, jocks. scottish people. craig: sweaty socks, jocks with giant -- feet. [laughter]
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>> or dr. spocks you can call them. craig: wasn't dr. spock someone who did something with heart surgery? no, he did something with babies. >> or mr. spock. craig: no, mr. spock was on "star trek." >> the gynecologist on "star trek." craig: dr. spock replaced hearts with babies. he would take people's hearts out and put a live baby inside them which really didn't work at all. [laughter] >> that's dr. bonner. craig: no, that was "the island of dr. moreau." >> all right. all right. craig: that's where he turned -- >> people into animals or vice versa. craig: i always had a problem with that. >> boring? craig: kind of. >> i think so too. craig: have you ever changed any person into an animal? >> i changed my wife into an alligator. [applause]
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it is usually when i say you can go shopping love. that really gets her going. by the way, my wife, i know you have a cell phone that vibrates but my wife has a vibrator you can switch to phone. [laughter] craig: that must be embarrassing if you forget to switch over at the wrong moment. >> well, it means you can take calls at certain -- you don't miss that vital call. craig: where are you? am i on speaker? [laughter] i scared myself again. >> that's what the 4g sound is for. [applause] craig: oh, boy. yeah, it looks like the messiah is not only a very naughty boy, eric idle is a very naughty boy. we'll be right back,
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[applause] craig: welcome back, everybody. welcome back. my apologies to everyone who has been watching the show since 2005. [laughter] when we started. i thought i would throw that out there. sorry, everybody. my next guest is in "are we there yet?" which is wendy's -- wendy's wednesdays on tbs. take a look at this. >> can we talk for a second? >> nick persons wants to talk. this must be serious. go ahead. >> you know i love you, right? >> yes. what? >> are you going to be coming to bed looking like this every night?
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>> what are you trying to say? >> during the day you look like halle berry but during the nighttime you turn to tyler perry. craig: of course that's fiction. please welcome terry crews, everybody! [applause] hey, terry. >> wow. wow. craig: how are you doing? congratulations on the new show. >> i feel like a white man. i feel like a white guy. i'm a black eric idle. look at this. craig: why do you feel like a white guy? >> because things are working, man. i'm kind of scared. [laughter] everything is going my way. it is weird. i walk out of the house, birds are singing and the sun is shining brighter. isn't that how it is for white people? craig: white people that are on strong anti-depressants. sure.
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no, no. i can't speak for all white people. thank god. [laughter] >> you got the sneaks on. craig: i went to footlocker with my friend geoff, who is not white and i got four pairs of sneakers and a pair of basketball shorts. >> you got the whole justin timberlake thing. craig: i thought we were friends! i thought we were friends! what the hell! >> i like justin. he's a cool white guy. i'm trying to tell you there are cool white guys out there who can do the dance thing and the sneaks and the suit. he can do it. i know you can do it. craig: no, no, no. ellen degeneres. that's the look i'm going for. [laughter] jeez. i don't know. you were not in the movie "are we there yet"? >> no. that was another black guy. [laughter] ice cube called me after "everybody hates chris" ended. a lot of people liked that show.
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craig: that was a great show. [applause] >> he literally was like, hey, man, you need a job? i was like dude, i need a job. he said we're going to do the tv series based on our movie and we would love for you to play this guy and it is about me being a dad and knowing what it is about. i said yeah. craig: how many kids have you got? >> five. five kids, man. it is a lot. i got stress. i literally had -- my first two gave me two ulcers. the last three, i'm waiting for them to hit their whole teen years. i'm getting ready, man. i got the metamucil. craig: doesn't it kirnede ease up, like the first one you're nervous and then the fifth one, oh, you'll be good. >> when the first one loses a leg you're like they will be all right. i'm a grandfather now. craig: stop it! >> my oldest just had a little baby girl. craig: congratulations. that's fantastic. [applause] >> i'm experiencing the whole
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thing because you know, being a grandfather you get all of the good stuff and none of the bad. just play, play, send them home. you know what i mean? before with my own kids you play and then -- craig: then you got to talk to them about stuff. >> and clean up poop. you still clean up poop. craig: you still have to clean up the poop. grandpa still has to clean the poop. just your own poop. [laughter] like oh, no. >> i'm trying to be the baddest youngest graph ever. you know what i mean? that's my shtick. everywhere i go i have to do that at least once. craig: i can only do that with my penis. [laughter] >> justin timberlake does that too! craig: no! no! >> justin does exactly that thing! you just got in from vegas? craig: yeah, i do.
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>> i hate vegas. craig: why? >> it is the only place more fake than l.a. literally. it has the hotel. i'm too big for vegas. i lean against something i knock down a hotel. it is the fakest place alive, dude. craig: it was 110 degrees when i was there. 110. people were like, it was a dry heat. i'm like what's a come and a go. dry heat? >> i know. when it is too hot -- i -- i'm from michigan. it is a cooler thing. when it is too hot -- craig: do you gamble or anything when you go to vegas? >> i hate losing. when they take money i give them that face and they give me that face back. i'm like all right, i got to go. craig: do that thing. >> it doesn't work. they have guns. they go like this. then i have to leave. they escort me out. that's one of the reasons i hate vegas. craig: what do you play when you're there? >> i play blackjack. when you have too many kids, you always forget the rules.
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every time i play a game i have to relearn it. i always had beginners luck and by the end of the night it is all over. craig: you got to know when to hold them and know when to fold them, terry. that's the whole idea. that's whole idea! i like vegas because i stayed at the venetian. you know what that? it is like italy if italy was on the surface of mars. >> it is like the fake italy. like the fake new york. you know what i mean? craig: the fake italy looks a little better. >> did you do the gondola thing? craig: the fake new york doesn't have the smell of pee-pee. it is not quite the same. >> they are going to have a fake vegas inside of vegas. which is -- craig: that would be kind of post modern and ironic. i like that. a vegas hotel in reno. you like reno?
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>> you know, i did something in reno one time and i remember walking into my hotel room and i didn't know there was a bathtub in the middle of the floor and i fell in. [laughter] and i was walking and i kind of fell in. craig: this thing you did in reno, was this thing a drug? >> no, it was early in my career and i don't want to talk about it right now. i'm kidding. it is a joke, guys. [laughter] craig: no, you're not kidding. >> if it ever comes up on youtube. craig: really? was it -- did it involve this? >> i got secrets man. craig: your secret is safe here. come on. but listen. congratulations on the new show. good luck with it. it is good to see you again. i'm always happy to see you. terry crews, everybody. [applause] here, take the card. you go to the shops... i'll meet you at the gate. thanks. please remove all metal objects out of your pockets.
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♪ what did we learn on the show tonight, craig? ♪ [meow] [meow] [meow] [meow] [laughter] craig: oh, those cats. it was like an oratorio there wasn't it? i feel a little vulnerable about the show tonight. i had the scratchy throat and the sneakers on. i think eric was good and terry was good but i think i might have sucked a bit more than usual. [laughter] it is vegas throat. by the way, "vegas throat" is
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the name of a movie which i just had an idea for and i'm going to go and pitch it. that's how they say it in hollywood. i'm going to pitch my idea. [laughter] i was never any good at it. hence this. [laughter] anyway, what did we learn? we learned an oratorio is -- i didn't really know what it is. it is like "cats" with no cats. sounds good, actually. sounds pretty good. i was watching on the cable last night. oh, yeah, i've got it. "cats" was on, the film of the musical. i've never seen it before. i'm not actually gay. i saw this like maybe 10 minutes of this maybe the most successful musical in the history of musicals and
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